Hi Mom, I cant believe it has already been 6 months....... And still think of you everyday. I just watched some home movies and I got to hear you again, and there was a good one of you and Ari hiding in your bed and she sat on your face when she was like 2 I forgot about that one .... Oh I miss those days... we miss you so much Wish you would just give me some kind of sign that you are here with me still, so I dont feel so empty and alone.  Love and miss you more than anyone can imagine. Love Me    

Hi Mom Still missing you so much, and want to call you and share some good things with you and I cant. I talk to you all the time and it stinks that you dont answer me. I closed on my first house today and am so excited I know you hated that job but it has paid off a little and we might be getting a house soon. I know you would be so happy for me. People keep telling me that its gonna get better, but I hate this empty feeling I cant get myself out of this funk I am in. The girls miss you so much, Aspen said she saw you and the poor kid just sobbed because she misses you so much and I had to talk to Ari because she is scared to talk about you because she doesnt want to make me sad but I told her she has to talk about you because I dont want her to  forget the relationship she had with you. We are going to come see you this weekend!  I love you mommy and miss you so much, watch over us and keep us safe until we see you again. PS Jacobs birthday is this weekend and I will pick up something little from you for him, I know you will be there because even when you were here you didnt want to miss anything

Happy Birthday Mom. I went to see you yesterday and left you a balloon. I couldnt get myself to write yesterday. We are going to visit Linda for my birthday, because you are not here for me to spend it with you, and I just need to get away. you know how I am. No matter how sick you were I thought I prepared myself for this and you never can.  I was so close to you and feel so empty now. I feel so selfish for wanting you back because I know how sick you were, but am finding my self so angry at you for leaving me and the girls too. I called that night and spoke with the nurse I just wish I spoke to you.. I am sorry for not being there, I know I promised and I need to know that you forgive me

Hi Mom, I missed you christmas and hate this feeling of emptyness, we went to Uncle Joes and then went to visit you and that is all I could take I sleep the whole rest of the day. I gave Ari your present the Marly and Me book and got the stuffed dog that you wanted and Aspen got a snowglobe with an angel in it and they both got earings with your birthstone. I hate that I cant see you or talk to you anymore, New years stunk because I always called you at midnight and I couldnt. I still cry everyday and want you to call me and yell at me for not calling you. It still doesnt seem real. I find myself always saying Nana this Nana that.Why havent you come to me yet?? Am I wanting that so badly that you cant? I need to know you are ok and still with me some how, to get me through this. Tomorrow will be a month and I cant stand it. I love you and miss you soooo much..  I want my mommy back  This is not fair   

hi nana its aspen your grandaughter i realy miss you and i want to see you again sooo bad you were my best freind and i could tell you anything but now i cant because your gone i feel like my heart shaterd in a million pices and i cant stand it. no one saw your passing coming it was all a surprise to us. i know your happy in heaven and you have legs and your walking again. i missss you soooooo much nana i need a sighn to now your still here and your watching over me nana i miss you soo much i dont know what to do HELP ME PLEASE NANA I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

It still feels like a dream mom, I want to wake up...I dont know how to cope with this. I love you so much and looked up to you so much and always said to myself how much more can someone take, but you never let it get you down. I hope you loved the services we had for you, Aspen was so brave and got up there and spoke about you. We got a christmas tree for you and decorated it with your ordaments that you loved because the girls were suppose to do that with you on Sat and you were disappointed that you were going in the hospital.I just want one more day.....This is the longest I have ever gone without seeing you or hearing your voice. Are you around me and  Im not seeing or feeling it, I just want to know you are happy and not sick anymore. I am in a fog and cant break through it. This is going to be a hard christmas without you here... I find it weird that I was so not in being here for christmas this year all of the sudden a little before thanksgiving Why?? was that a sign because I usually always love christmas(just a little odd) and chris would ask why I didnt want to be here christmas and I really didnt know.... I love you mom and miss you more every minute that passes by.